1st Story:
By Art Gates
Appearances:
Snoopy, Dr. Nutzy, their landlord, Casey (cop), police sergeant, bank president, con artist, Adie/Addie from Decatur, cook, bank customer, Slimey Jack, telegram deliverer
Synopsis:
Dr. Nutzy invents a machine that can detect whenever someone who walks into a bank intends to rob it and shows it off to his roommate, Snoopy. Their landlord is unimpressed and insists that they pay her their overdue rent or she'll evict them. In need of quick cash, they sell the machine to a nearby bank president, but they end up losing the cash to a con artist and Adie/Addie from Decatur, who they don't realize is a bank robber. Needing to replace their lost cash, they hire themselves out as bank security guards and successfully prevent Adie/Addie from robbing the bank. With their reward money, they pay off the landlord, but then get themselves locked out when Snoopy leaves the key to their room in the suit he is having cleaned.
Note:
The bank robber's name is spelled in two different ways in this story, and it's unclear which is correct, Adie or Addie.
2nd Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Happy Mann the Pessimist, Ted (Happy's friend), theater employee, Bozo (dog), Blackie (thug), Butch (thug), cops
Synopsis:
Happy is always sad, so his friend Ted invites him to a movie. After the movie a raffle is drawn and Happy wins $500. He is sad, since the money will probably cause trouble. He's right, as right afterward he is mugged. The muggers think he must be rich to carry around so much money, so they kidnap him, intending to hold him for ransom. Ted suspects something has happened, so he asks the police to investigate. They track down Happy and arrest the kidnappers, Butch and Blackie. There was a $500 reward for their capture, but now Happy is worried that even more trouble will befall him.
3rd Story:
by Clyde Yeadon
Appearances:
Trinket, her dog, cop, man driving a car
Synopsis:
Trinket is walker her dog when she sees a cop walking his beat and decides to tease him.
4th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Zoo announcer, Lester T. Lion, talking bird, Junior/Lancelot (schoolboy), Junior's mom, Winnie the Weasel, lion keeper, parkgoer, muggers, Robbins, men's wear associate, Nazi agitator, crowd listening to the agitator, Waldorf clerk, bellhop, hotel patrons, reporters
Synopsis:
Lester, a lion, shares a cage at a zoo with Winnie the Weasel, who loves him. Lester finds her affection endearing but embarrassing, especially when people come to look at them. One day, a spoiled brat throws his textbook at Lester. The book teaches how to read, write, and speak English. No one gets the book out of the cage, so Lester works through it and masters English. The lion keeper freaks out and runs away, leaving the cage unlocked, when Lester speaks English to him. Lester decides to explore and goes to a park. There he stops a mugging, but the man he saved is so freaked out by a talking lion that he runs away, saying that Lester can keep the money he prevented the muggers from taking. It's a lot of cash, so Lester goes to a menswear store and buys a nice set of high end clothes. Meanwhile, Winnie has been missing Lester, so she goes looking for him. She ends up being grabbed by a Nazi agitator who mistakes her for a rat. Lester comes across the scene and saves her, jumping on the Nazi. This gives him the idea to use the rest of his money to open a zoo where the exhibits are strange humans like the Nazi he just pounced on. He checks himself and Winnie into the Waldorf and puts an ad in the paper for people to send him the info of people they'd like to get rid of.
Note:
An odd story, to be sure, but there's nothing in it that prevents it from being 616. There are other talking animals in 616, after all (like Top Dog, Heathcliff, and the various funny animal characters), so Lester fits right in. Also, I should note that the spoiled brat is called both Junior and Lancelot, but it's not clear if either of those are actually his name.
5th Story:
By Basil Wolverton
Appearances:
Powerhouse Pepper, people walking on sidewalk, Kid Skullcracker, dog, Barnum B. Backbiter, fight fans (including the governor), Sadie, Agnes, Bessie (girls Kid Skullcracker likes), venue employee
Synopsis:
Kid Skullcracker, boxing deadweight champion, almost runs Pepper over with his car. Pepper takes exception to this and knocks Skullcracker to the ground with one punch. Skullcracker's manager, Barnum B. Backbiter, observes and talks Pepper into a professions boxing match with Skullcracker that night. Backbiter intends to fix the fight and get rich, but he doesn't realize that Pepper (now known as Powerhouse Pepper), can't be hurt by a punch or even a hammer blow to the head. Pepper easily wins the fight and all the prize.
6th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
loggers and their families, their boss, Peavey Parker (BTS), Buzz-Saw Baker (BTS), Tommy Gunz, Theodore (Tommy's pet bear), big green monster, marines, barber, pedestrian, woman with lots of honey
Synopsis:
Tommy is a moron, but he's tough with an axe. At a logging camp in the Smoky Mountains, a big green monster periodically appears and eats one of the loggers. No one is brave enough to fight the monster on his own, so the loggers volunteer Tommy to do it. He easily kills the monster and says that he'd like to see the world as a reward. The logging boss says that's no problem and arranges for Tommy to join the U.S. Marines. Tommy sneaks his pet bear, Theodore, into boot camp, but he's still a moron and can't do much of anything right. Tasked to deliver a message to a Mrs. Smith, Tommy gives it to the wrong woman, while Theodore breaks into her large shipment of honey, spoiling it.
Text Story
By Mickey Spillane
Appearances:
Joe Gooey, Mr. Foof, Archie, Luke Zincus, citizens, cops, mayor, Governor Kunk, feds, mob
Synopsis:
Joe Gooey is a reporter tasked to write about the weather for his newspaper. He doesn't know much of anything about the weather, though. One day, tired of writing the same thing every day, he writes an outlandish report about an incoming hurricane just as a way to let off some steam, never intending to publish it. While out at lunch, Archie, the copy boy, sees the report and thinks it is genuine. It's added to the next edition and a panic sets in over the town. When it is realize that the report is fake, a mob arrives intending to lynch Gooey. Just as they are about to string him up, an actual hurricane suddenly appears. Gooey is then celebrated as a hero for giving people enough time to prepare.
7th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Alec the Great, kidnappers, museum employee, Mr. Saxton, Colonel Wright, cops
Synopsis:
Alec, a street-sweeper, reads about Captain America in the comics and is inspired to become a hero, too. He creates a costume for himself to wear under his work clothes. The next day while sweeping in front of a museum, he sees a kidnapping. He tracks the kidnappers down and begins punching them out. However, the victim, Mr. Saxton pulls a gun on Alec. He reveals that he is the manager of the museum and he arranged for his own kidnapping so that the ransom money he gets can be used to cover up his theft of museum funds. They knock Alec out and through him in the river, intending him to drown. However, the cold water revives Alec and he reveals the whole scheme to the police, who then arrest Saxton.
Note:
This is the first appearance of Archie the Gruesome. Although the name is different, this is clearly the same character, as the backstory and costume are exactly the same. For some reason, Alec's name was changed to Archie for his second appearance.
8th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Eustis Hayseed, Chief Blackfeet, murderous woman, woman Blackfeet assaults to make his wife, dead pedestrian, McStrangle Boys gang, pedestrians, street sweeper, Honey Jeeper, rabbit, Camel-Nose McZombie, man and woman fighting each other, thief, cop, Sophie Rizosko/Francine, Ronald (millionaire), Blackjack Barton
Synopsis:
Eustis Hayseed and his companion, Chief Blackfeet, are traveling to the big city (New York?) from their rural home. A woman driving by sees Eustis and finds him attractive. She gives both a ride to the city and takes them to her apartment. She tries to get Eustis alone, even resorting to throwing Blackfeet out the window several stories up, but Eustis is oblivious to her advances and leaves after eating his fill of her food. Blackfeet somehow survives the fall and the two continue exploring the city. Blackfeet sees an attractive woman walking down the sidewalk, so he beats her over the head and begins dragging her by the hair, saying he wants her as his wife. The McStrangle Boys gang sees this and attacks them, but Eustis and Blackfeet overpower and fight off all of them. Meanwhile, back home, Honey Jeeper pines after Eustis and decides to go to the big city to find him. She is accosted by Camel-Nose McZombie, but she beats him up and buries him alive under rocks. Back in the city, Eustis and Blackfeet are tricked into helping a thief carry a stolen safe, but they're caught by a cop and thrown in jail. Honey is picked up by a millionaire named Ronald, who immediately is smitten by her. This is a problem for Francine (really a former carnival worker named Sophie Rozosko) who was planning to con Ronald out of his fortune. To get Honey out of the way, Francine hires Blackjack Barton to kill her.
Note:
The racist depiction of Blackfeet and the dumb-hick stereotyping of Eustis and Honey make this a difficult story to read. It's not clear if Eustis and Honey have super-strength or not. They are both depicted easily lifting, by themselves, objects of great weight (a safe and a large boulder). Or perhaps the idea is that they're hicks from a rural area, so they got strong through manual labor. Also, it's unclear what happens to the woman Blackfeet assaulted to make his wife. She disappears between scenes.
9th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Professor Glimp, Mortimer Flapdoodle, Morty's classmates
Synopsis:
Morty is late for class. When he shows, Professor Glimp asks for his excuse. Morty says he was picking daisies, since they reminded him of the professor. The prof then asks for Morty's homework, but Morty accidentally gives him his art sketchbook, wherein he has drawn unflattering pictures of the professor. As punishment, Morty has to wear a dunce cap.
10th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Squirrels baseball team, Luther Lemuel "Cannonball" Brown, Slugger Butts, fans, Horsehide McGee, natives (in the Amazon?)
Synopsis:
The Squirrels baseball team is in spring training at their camp when Luther Lemuel "Cannonball" Brown shows up and wants to audition for the team. He pitches the ball so hard that it goes right through Slugger Butts's bat. He also has various trick pitches, like his boomerang pitch. Batting left-handed, he can hit the ball through the outfield wall. Batting right-handed, he hits the ball out of the country, where it is found by natives who don't know what it is (possibly in the Amazon jungle). The team's manager, Horsehide McGee, asks Brown to sign to join the team.
Note:
Brown apparently has super strength. I wonder if he was an early mutant.
11th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Fly Swatter, Greasy's Cafe patron and cook, boxing assistants and fans, ref, Stan (one of the fans)
Synopsis:
Fly Swatter (a fly weight boxer) gets into a fight with a big patron at Greasy's Cafe. He challenges the big lug to a boxing match. At the match, Fly is losing until he is knocked into the ropes and bounces back like Captain America, landing a tough blow that stuns his opponent. Fly tries the move again and he knocks out the opponent, winning the match. Now he's scared, since he'll have to box the champ.
Note:
At one point the ref talks to a fan in the audience named Stan. It would be cool if this was the 616 version of Stan Lee.
12th Story:
By ?
Appearances:
Stuporman, cat, dog, Scuttlers, victim of a Scuttler, victim's dog, propeller-nosed spy bird, Boravian citizens, President Old Sock, the president's dogs, pedestrian, Goopa, Count Upp, Alice (a cat)
Synopsis:
Stuporman learns of Scuttlers (a gang of spies) attacking people in Boravia, so he travels there to stop them. He finds their leader, Count Upp, and knocks him and his monster, Goopa, out. He tricks the other Scuttlers into thinking that spies are now welcome in Boravia and there is no money to be made in the spy racket. They all quit, thus saving the country from their scourge.
Note:
Boravia is another fictional country from the golden age left out of the Marvel Atlas. It's not entirely clear if "Old Sock" is the president's name or just a nickname. Stuporman's first appearance was in Daring Mystery Comics #6, which was analyzed here a couple years ago, but he wasn't given a chronology. I've included that appearance below. I've also included his appearances in the super-rare Snap vol. 1 #2 (Nov 1940), #3 (Dec 1940), and Joker vol. 1 #4 (1943-1944). I've left those in brackets, since those stories aren't yet analyzed. I hope someone can find copies of those series and analyze them for MCP.
Chronologies:
For the key:
Joker = JOKER
Joker Comics = JOCO
Snap = SNAP
ADIE/ADDIE FROM DECATUR
JOCO 1
*ALEC THE GREAT/ARCHIE THE GRUESOME
*JOCO 1/7 (add)
COMEDYC 10/11
ALLWS:BH 3-FB
ALLWS:BH 4-FB
ALLWS:BH 5-FB
BACKBITER, BARNUM B.
JOCO 1/5
BAKER, BUZZ-SAW
JOCO 1/6 - BTS
BARTON, BLACKJACK
JOCO 1/8
BOZO
JOCO 1/2
BROWN, LUTHER LEMUEL "CANNONBALL"
JOCO 1/10
BUTTS, SLUGGER
JOCO 1/10
CHIEF BLACKFEET
JOCO 1/8
COUNT UPP
JOCO 1/12
DR. NUTZY
JOCO 1
FLAPDOODLE, MORTIMER
JOCO 1/9
FLY SWATTER
JOCO 1/11
FOOF, MR.
JOCO 1/TEXT
GLIMP, PROF.
JOCO 1/9
GOOEY, JOE
JOCO 1/TEXT
GOOPA
JOCO 1/12
GUNZ, TOMMY
JOCO 1/6
HAYSEED, EUSTIS
JOCO 1/8
JEEPER, HONEY
JOCO 1/8
KID SKULLCRACKER
JOCO 1/5
KUNK, GOVERNOR
JOCO 1/TEXT
LION, LESTER T.
JOCO 1/4
MANN, HAPPY
JOCO 1/2
MCGEE, HORSEHIDE
JOCO 1/10
MCZOMBIE, CAMEL-NOSE
JOCO 1/8
PARKER, PEAVEY
JOCO 1/6 - BTS
POWERHOUSE PEPPER
JOCO 1/5
PRESIDENT OLD SOCK
JOCO 1/12
RIZOSKO, SOPHIE/FRANCINE
JOCO 1/8
SAXTON, MR.
JOCO 1/7
SLIMEY JACK
JOCO 1
SNOOPY
JOCO 1
STUPORMAN/MARMADUKE SNOOD, JR.
DARMC 6/3
[SNAP 2]
[SNAP 3]
JOCO 1/12
[JOKER 4]
THEODORE
JOCO 1/6
TRINKET
JOCO 1/3
WINNIE THE WEASEL
JOCO 1/4
WRIGHT, COL.
JOCO 1/7
ZINCUS, LUKE
JOCO 1/TEXT
